


Just Waiting

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-19
Updated: 2008-03-19
Packaged: 2018-12-27 01:13:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12070698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian just got a divorce and he comes back to Pittsburgh to stay with one of his old friends.





	1. Old Times

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Justin opened the door and walked to the kitchen. He dropped the bags in the island and frowned. He put his hand inside his jacket and moved to the end of the kitchen where the light switch was. He was feeling like there was something out of place. Justin was about to turn on the light when a pair of strong arms grabbed him by the waist and held him tight.

“Let me go. I’m armed and I know how to use it,” Justin informed the person.

“I know, I taught you,” was the answer the blond received.

“Brian! Brian, you fucking asshole you scared the shit out of me,” Justin said taking his hand off of his gun.

“How are you doing, sunshine?” Brian asked smirking as he let go of the blond.

“What are you doing here? Why didn’t you call me?” Justin asked turning around.

“I wanted to surprise you,” Brian replied.

“Well, you almost killed me,” Justin said turning on the light. “How you been?”

Brian shrugged.

“Wow, you really are a talker. Could you slow down?” Justin joked.

Brian arched an eyebrow before he turned around and walked to the living room. Justin took a deep breath and followed him.

“What is that?” Justin asked pointing at the luggage in the living room.

“Those are my bags,” Brian said smiling.

“No shit. What are they doing here?” Justin asked and frowned. “Did Lindsey kick you out or something and why will you come this far?”

“It’s more than that,” Brian said sitting down. “We got ourselves a divorce. We’re just waiting for the papers, to sign them and make it official.”

“You’re fucking joking right?” Justin asked taking his jacket off. “What happened? You guys are the happiest couple I know.”

“I guess you don’t know a lot then,” Brian said putting his feet in the coffee table.

“Brian, tell me what happened,” Justin demanded.

“She’s seeing someone else,” Brian muttered.

“She’s cheating on you?” Justin asked letting his mouth hang open before he could talk again. “No way.”

“Yup,” Brian said nodding.

“Brian, I’m sorry. Are you fucking sure about this?” Justin asked frowning.

“Yup, she and Mel are happy now,” Brian said.

“Mel? Wait, Brian, Mel is a girl. You got all this wrong…” Justin started. He talked to Lindsay from time to time and knew who Melanie was.

“Justin, we got a divorce. Don’t you think I did some digging before all of this came to an end? I know it’s a girl,” Brian said.

“Wow, okay,” Justin said and leaned back in the couch. “You’re welcome to stay here.”

“Are you sure?” Brian asked. “I don’t want to impose.”

“Yeah, I’m surprise that you didn’t go to Michael’s apartment,” Justin said smiling.

“He’s just too clingy sometimes. Plus I like you better,” Brian told him.

“Gee, thanks,” Justin said smiling.

“I’m going to transfer here,” Brian said. “I just can be in that fucking city anymore.”

Justin nodded. “Are you hungry?” Justin asked. “I brought some food. It’s enough for the both of us.”

“Sure,” the brunet told him.

Justin smiled and got up. Brian got up and walked behind him. They worked together in silence for a few minutes before Brian talked again.

“She wants me to sign my rights as Gus’s parent to Melanie,” Brian said.

“What? Is she fucking crazy?” Justin asked. “Don’t do it, Brian. I mean…I know it’s none of my business but that is fucked up.”

“That’s what I told her. She said she was just trying to have a family. I told her she had one and she fucked it up,” Brian said and put his fork down. “I’m not that hungry.”

Justin put his fork down too. “I’m sorry, Brian. I don’t know what else to say,” Justin said biting his lower lip.

Brian looked up and smiled. “You don’t have to say anything at all.”

“Justin!” Sheila screamed.

“Sheila! What the fuck? How did you get in here?” Justin asked when he turned to look at her. “What the fuck is going on in this house?”

“Jessica gave me the key. She’s in the hospital. Daphne took her,” Sheila said out of breath. “She’s having the baby. You’re going to be a father.”

“Oh fuck, come on Brian,” Justin said as he led the way out of the house.

Brian and Sheila followed Justin out of the house. Brian wondered what the fuck was going on. The last time he checked Justin was gay and now he was going to be a father. Although the last time he checked Lindsey had liked cock and now she was fucking pussy. Things just kept on shocking him one after the other.

***

Brian took a long drag and passed the joint to Justin. He looked at his friend and laughed. He shook his head and then put his arm across his face.

“So, what’s the story? Why is there a little version of you?” Brian asked smirking.

“Daphne and Jessica asked me to be the father of their child. They said I could be part of his life if I wanted to and that I didn’t have to sign my rights away. I always wanted to be a father. I just don’t think I could be one full time,” Justin explained.

“I see,” Brian murmured.

“Yeah,” Justin said smiling. “Angel, I like that.”

Brian smiled and nodded. He couldn’t believe that Justin had let him name the boy. “Don’t you have to work tomorrow?” the brunet asked.

“No, I have the weekend off,” Justin said.

“Cool, you can help me look for an apartment,” Brian said.

“Brian, you can stay here really. There is plenty of space,” Justin insisted, for some reason he didn’t want Brian to leave just yet.

“I don’t want to intrude,” Brian said but he was glad that he could stay there with Justin. Everything seemed okay when Justin was around.

“Please, it would be great. Just like old times,” Justin said smiling.

“You mean you trying to get a peek at my gorgeous body?” Brian asked.

“Always,” Justin said giggling.

“Asshole,” Brian said throwing a pillow at Justin.

They giggled together. Justin passed the joint to Brian once again.

“I’m going to take a shower and then I’m going to bed. You know where the rooms are. Pick one and that will be that.”

Brian nodded and covered his face with his hand again. Justin turned around and took a deep breath.

“Night,” Justin whispered.

“Night,” Brian echoed.

Justin went up the stairs and into his room. He undressed slowly thinking over all of the things that had happened that day. He had been shot at and almost killed by the guy he and his partner had been chasing. Justin’s mom had been in an accident and his kid had been born. Brian was there living with him...again. Justin closed his eyes and went to the bathroom. It had been one hell of a day.

He remembered how it had been in college. Justin had developed something more than a crush towards Brian. He bit his lower lip and closed his eyes. Justin was a man now and he knew that he didn’t have to worry about anything. He could control himself.

***

Justin opened his eyes and frowned. The sun was hitting his face and he was sure that he had closed the blinds before he went to sleep.

“Justin, are you up yet?” Brian asked.

“Brian, tell me someone fucking died or I might kill you just to justify the fact that I’m up at…” Justin said and picked up his watch. “Fucking seven a.m. in the morning,”

Brian laughed. “Get up,” Brian told him.

“Fuck off,” Justin hissed.

“Come on Justin. Get up. I want to have a morning run,” Brian informed him.

“Oh you’re going to be running,” Justin said sitting on the bed. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I don’t want to go alone, usually Lindsay…never mind,” Brian said frowning. “I can go alone after all.”

“Wait,” Justin said sighting. “I’ll go with you.”

“You don’t have to Justin. I’m sorry I woke you up,” Brian said moving towards the door.

“Brian, do you really want me to kill you? Jeez, you’re the strangest person I fucking know,” Justin said getting up from bed.

“Pot, kettle, black, it’s a puzzle solve it,” Brian said smirking.

“Up yours Kinney, let me change and we will go and have that fucking run,” Justin said.

Brian nodded and sat in the bed.

“Do you mind?” Justin asked.

“It’s not like I’m going to be checking you out,” Brian said getting up.

Justin smirked and shook his head.

“I’ll wait for you downstairs,” Brian told him.

Justin nodded. When Brian was gone Justin took a deep breath and looked himself in the mirror. One day and he had survived. Justin smile and nodded. He was going to be okay. Having Brian living with him wasn’t going to affect him in the least...or so he thought.


	2. Definitely New Things

Daphne smiled at Angel and caressed his face. She still couldn’t believe that he was finally there. Daphne took the baby’s blanket and covered him. She kept glancing at Justin that was just staring at Angel but at the same time he looked out of sorts.

“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?” Daphne asked.

“Yeah,” Justin said smiling.

“Do you want something to drink?” Daphne asked.

“Yeah,” Justin answered.

Daphne just stared at Justin and wondered what could be Justin’s new crisis. She took a magazine and just started going over it. When she was done she looked up at Justin that was standing up at the same spot. Daphne rolled her eyes and got up to stand next to her best friend.

“So, what’s wrong?” Daphne asked.

Justin looked up and shook his head. “Nothing is wrong,” he replied.

“You know Justin. I thought I was your best friend,” Daphne sing sang.

“You are Daphne,” Justin assured her.

“What?” Daphne asked innocently. “No kidding? Then why the fucks are you treating me like a complete stranger, Justin?”

“I’m not,” Justin said.

Daphne took a deep breath and just turned away. She came back with a cup of coffee and gave it to him. Then she just sat down and tried to guess what was wrong with her friend.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Justin asked putting the cup of coffee down.

Daphne shrugged and kept on staring. Justin sat down and then started biting his nails.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Daphne asked as her eyes narrowed. Justin biting his nails was a big neon sign that something was definitely not okay.

“Why would you think that there is something wrong with me? I’m perfectly fine. I have never been better.” Justin said very quickly.

“Right,” Daphne said sarcastically.

Justin and Daphne looked at each other intensely before Justin broke down.

“Daphne,” Justin said in a sorrowful voice.

“What?” Daphne asked alarmed thinking the worst. Somehow she knew that Justin’s problem had to do with Brian. She knew something bad would happen when she saw the brunet at the hospital.

“Would you think I’m crazy if…I told Brian he could move in with me?” Justin asked.

“I knew it,” Daphne said getting up. “Wait a minute, what the hell did you just said?” Daphne’s mouth hung open and her eyes almost budged out of her head.

“Brian, as in Brian Kinney?” She asked knowing it was none other.

Justin nodded.

“You lost your mind,” Daphne said in shock. “You’re a masochist, Justin.”

“I thought I was over him, but shit. Last night, he was coming out of the shower and god Daph, he looked so fucking hot. I thought I was going to die or cum in my pants, whichever one happened first.”

“Wow, that’s like information I could do without, really,” Daphne replied.

“Oh, god Daphne, he’s back. What am I going to do?” Justin said running his fingers through his hair. “Okay, so I might be a little jumpy, but it’s not my fault. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking when I told him he could move in. I can’t kick him out now.”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait,” Daphne said throwing her arms in the air. “You have to think this through, Justin. Last time you were living with him you would come to me crying every night. You said it hurt to be next to him.”

“It still does,” Justin said.

Daphne sat next to Justin and put an arm around him. She felt like she was back in college giving comfort to her friend. It was just like in the past but Angel’s crying only proved that it was a different time, same shit.

***

Justin opened the door to his house to be assaulted by a great smell. Justin went directly to the kitchen where he found Brian cooking.

“You cook?” Justin asked smiling.

“Hey, I’ve been waiting for you. I made us dinner,” Brian said.

“Well, thanks dear,” Justin said taking off his jacket.

“What, you already ate a clown?” Brian asked rolling his eyes.

Justin smirked. “So how was your day?” Justin asked.

“Good, the chief showed me around,” Brian said. “But I don’t know,”

“Don’t know what?” Justin asked frowning.

“I have been thinking about quitting,” Brian informed him.

“Really, what are you going to do?” Justin asked.

“I have a bachelor in business. I could use that,” Brian told him and shrugged.

Justin sat down and looked at Brian. “I thought being a homicide detective was your dream,” Justin reminded him.

“Not anymore,” Brian said shrugging. “I don’t know maybe I’m just going through so much shit that I’m not thinking straight.”

“Maybe its PMS,” Justin joked and smiled.

Brian showed him the finger.

“It’s up to you, Brian. It’s not my decision to make,” Justin said in a serious tone.

“I’m just thinking about it,” Brian said and twisted his lips. “Although, I’ll have to turn in my handcuffs.”

“That’s okay. I can always lend you mine,” Justin said smirking.

Brian smiled. Justin hated when Brian smiled at him because it made his heart beat wildly. He got up quickly and went to get the wine. He needed to concentrate on something else.

“I’m going back to New York,” Brian said while he prepared a salad.

Justin’s heart started to beat even faster. He wanted to reach over to Brian and slap him. He just pretended like the words didn’t mean anything to him.

“Really,” Justin said biting the inside of his cheek.

“Yeah, I want to see Gus. Then I have to sign the papers to make everything official and I’ll be a free man,” Brian told him.

Justin smiled and nodded. His heart was calming down. He had been so scared that Brian was leaving already.

“What do you think I should do first?” Brian asked.

“Skydiving,” Justin answered.

“What does skydiving has to do with being a free man?” Brian asked coming to the table and putting the salad there.

“I don’t know. It was the first thing that popped into my head,” Justin said. “So what are we having?”

“Food,” Brian said smirking.

“What kind of food?” Justin asked with a grin.

“Lasagna,” Brian informed him.

“That’s my favorite,” Justin announced.

“I know,” Brian said and shrugged. “I just wanted to say thank you for welcoming me in your house,” he told the blond. Brian smiled and poured each of them some red wine that Justin had gotten out.

“Thanks,” Justin muttered. “You didn’t have to. I was tired of being alone.”

Brian smirked. “So you’re just using me?” Brian asked.

Justin laughed. “Yeah, I was going to ask Michael to move in but I like you better.”

“Gee, thanks,” Brian said before he sat down. “To good times,”

“To good times,” Justin repeated.

Silently he was praying that he could be able to resist Brian. He just didn’t want to fuck his relationship with him. Brian was a good friend and he was going to try his best to keep it that way.

“So, it’s your birthday soon,” Justin said smirking when he put his wineglass down.

Brian looked up and showed him his middle finger yet again. He didn’t need to be reminded that he was getting old.

***

Justin laughed and pushed Brian back. He was having the most wonderful time of his life. He sat down slowly and looked around. There was a mess everywhere he looked.

“This is a problem,” Justin announced.

“What?” Brian asked.

“Who is going to clean this fucking mess?” Justin asked. “Do you have a lighter?”

“I think so,” Brian said trying to find one.

“Wow, I can’t believe that you’re thirty five years old already. You’re old,” Justin said laughing.

“Justin, you’re a year older than me,” Brian reminded him finding the lighter.

“Oh, yeah, I forgot,” Justin said giggling.

Brian smiled and shook his head. “Here,” the brunet said as he pushed the lighter into Justin’s hands.

“Thanks, Brian. Do you have a cigarette?” Justin asked next.

Brian nodded again and looked for one.

“When are you leaving?” Justin asked.

“Tomorrow night,” Brian replied.

“Cool,” Justin whispered, but it wasn’t cool. It was anything but okay.

“Yeah,” Brian murmured. He didn’t want to go.

Justin laughed again. “I think I’m feeling something. I think I’m high,” Justin said and looked at Brian that was still trying to find a cigarette.

“What are you doing?” Justin asked.

Brian looked up and frowned. “I’m looking for something.”

“What?” Justin asked smiling.

Brian shrugged.

“I wish I was back in high school,” Justin said suddenly.

“What the fuck for?” Brian asked.

“I don’t know. As bad as it was, it was just perfect,” Justin said. “We didn’t have any worries in the world.”

Brian smiled and nodded. He moved forward and reached for the bottle in front of him. “I remember you used to have the biggest crush on Chris Hobbs.”

“God,” Justin said closing his eyes. “Then he was history when I went to college. I had a new one.”

“I know,” Brian said smirking. “Me.”

“What?” Justin asked feeling more alert than ever.

“Come of it. I know you were pinning away for me,” Brian said laughing.

Justin closed his eyes and thought of white sands and blue beaches. He needed to relax. He thought of the forest after the rain. He tried of thinking of places that relaxed him but nothing was working.

“Justin,” Brian whispered.

“What?” Justin asked opening his eyes.

“What does it feel like to kiss a guy?” Brian asked.

Justin shrugged. “I don’t know. Fucking amazing,” the blond replied.

Brian nodded and leaned forward to kiss Justin. At first, Justin was going to pull away but he knew he would regret it forever. So he just leaned forward too and let Brian’s lips touch his. When he felt Brian’s tongue inside of him he just pulled away.

“Wow that was hot,” Brian said.

Justin smiled briefly and sadly. “So, do you have a cigarette?” Justin asked nervously.

Brian nodded and started looking for one.


	3. Conversations

Brian closed his eyes and wondered what the fuck had he been thinking when he kissed Justin. Ever since he met the blond his thoughts got scrambled but he had always managed to stir clear from them. He was a straight man that had just gotten a divorce and that’s why he was acting so strange.

Brian smiled at how full of shit he was. He needed to forget about Justin. Justin would never go for him. Brian closed his eyes and thought about the blond’s smile. He opened his eyes and shook his head.

“Sir, is there anything you would want, like a pillow, a drink or something else?”

“No, I’m okay. Thank you,” Brian said to the stewardess.

She nodded and kept on walking.

“Justin,” Brian whispered under his breath.

Brian looked outside the window. When he came back he had to move out. But then if he did Justin would feel bad and like Brian didn’t trust him anymore. Brian didn’t want Justin to feel like he had done something wrong. The brunet took a deep breath and put his forehead in the window and just stared outside.

Already he was missing Justin. Brian smiled again. What the fuck was happening to him, he had no idea. Brian couldn’t believe that he had feelings for Justin. He had feelings for Lindsey too still. The only difference was that when he thought of Justin he felt something inside of him crumbling to pieces and building up again. Justin could make him feel like he was dying yet living at the same time.

Brian thought of how he never felt like that about Lindsey. He felt comfortable with Lindsey. Brian was starting to realize that maybe just maybe he had never been in love with her. Brian shook his head once more and smirked. He was going nuts. Of course he would say something like that. He was pissed at Lindsey. Yeah, that was the whole thing.

***

Justin kept pacing back and forward while Jessica just stared at him. He looked at her and smiled before he just kept on pacing.

“You’re going to make a whole in the floor,” Jessica mocked. “Why don’t you go and when Daphne comes home I’ll tell her to call you.”

“I can’t go home,” Justin said frantically.

“Why?” Jessica asked.

Justin looked at her and frowned. “It happened there, every time I pass through the living room…I just remember. It’s fucking driving me nuts. I have to tell someone.”

”What happen?” Jessica asked dying to know but trying to keep cool about it.

“Brian kissed me,” Justin shrieked.

“Oh,” Jessica said and hid well her shock.

“What do you mean oh?” Justin asked.

“Well, I mean oh as in big fucking shock,” Jessica said, after all it was something that was bound to happen or so she thought.

“Why would you say that? Brian is straight,” Justin said, feeling like he needed to remind her or maybe himself.

“Brian has been trying to play it straight. He’s as gay as Daphne, Stacy, me, you, Kevin, Emmett, Ted, Michael…you get the idea,” she told him.

“He got married,” Justin pointed out.

“He wouldn’t be the first gay guy in history to do that,” Jessica said. “He was married for two years and then bam, they were over. Come on now.”

Justin sat down next to her. “Let’s say you’re right.”

“You mean you’re hoping I’m right,” Jessica said smirking.

“Fine, what do I do?” Justin asked.

“I don’t know. If you were a lesbian maybe I could help you,” Jessica said.

“What would you do if Brian was Daphne?” Justin asked.

“I would go after her,” Jessica said smiling.

“I don’t think I could do that,” Justin told her.

“Why?” Jessica asked and sighed.

“I’m scared of losing our friendship. He’s great and I don’t want to lose him,” Justin said. “It’s not like those times you say ‘you got nothing to lose’. I do have something to lose.”

“Hey,” Daphne said when she came into the living room. No one had heard her coming in.

“Hey baby,” Jessica said getting up and went to kiss Daphne. “How was your day?”

“Good,” Daphne replied.

“Oh I got news for you,” Jessica said. “Brian kissed Justin.”

“Hey!” Justin said jumping up from the sofa. “Those are my news to tell.”

“Sorry,” Jessica said sheepishly.

“You told her before you told me,” Daphne yelled.

“Shhh honey, Angel is sleeping up there,” Jessica said.

“I needed to tell someone before I exploded. You weren’t here,” Justin said.

“Plus I’m his friend too,” Jessica reminded her wife.

“I didn’t...” Daphne started to say.

“I know you didn’t baby,” Jessica told her and kissed her again.

“Could you stop dong things like that in front of me? I like my sight very much,” Justin joked.

Jessica rolled her eyes. “I’ll leave you guys alone so you can talk,” Jessica said.

“She’s great,” Justin whispered when Jessica was gone.

“Yeah she’s the best,” Daphne said smiling. “Now back to you and Brian.”

“There is no me and Brian,” Justin said sadly.

Daphne put her arm around Justin. “Baby, why don’t you just tell him to move out?”

“I don’t want to be rude plus let’s be real here. I don’t want him to go,” Justin whispered.

“Maybe not, but it’s going to kill you when he starts dating again and he brings them back to the house,” Daphne said.

“Fuck,” Justin shouted.

“Our son is sleeping,” Daphne reminded him.

“Sorry,” Justin said frowning. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I think I’m just going to pretend like I don’t remember anything. I’ll do us both the favor.”

Daphne smiled a little and hugged Justin. She knew things wouldn’t be that easy, but she was going to let it go for now.

***

Brian knocked on the door and frowned when he came face to face with Melanie. Melanie moved to the side and let Brian get inside.

“How you been?” Melanie asked.

Brian didn’t answer.

“Brian, hey how you been?” Lindsay asked with Gus in her arms.

“Daddy,” Gus shouted.

“Come here little man,” Brian said picking his son up. He smiled and kissed Gus on the forehead. He looked around to see that there were a couple of boxes.

“Are you guys moving?” Brian asked.

“Yeah,” Lindsay said. “Mel got offered a job in Baltimore.”

Brian nodded.

“So, all you need to do is sign the divorce papers and Gus’s…” Melanie was saying but was cut short.

“I’m not signing Gus’s rights away, Lindsay. I don’t care if you move to the fucking moon. He’s still my son and I’m not letting you take him away from me. I would still visit," Brian told her firmly.

“But what if he gets sick?” Lindsay said. “Mel wouldn’t be able to go in.”

“No? I guess that must mean she isn’t his parent,” Brian said dryly then he turned around with Gus in his arms to go to the backyard.

Mel and Lindsay just stared at each other and frowned.

“Daddy,” Gus said again happily.

Brian smiled and caressed his son’s face.

“Brian,” Lindsay said coming after the brunet.

“What do you want Lindsay?” Brian asked.

“I really want this,” Lindsay begged.

“Do you fucking expect me to care for what you want?” Brian asked. He wasn’t going to give into her, not anymore.

Lindsay closed her eyes and sat down next to where Brian had sat down with Gus.

“Here are the papers for the divorce,” Lindsay said. “Melanie went over them.”

Brian nodded and took them.

“Aren’t you going to sign them?” Lindsay asked.

“I’m going to have my lawyer check them out,” Brian said. “Do you think I’m an idiot?”

“Brian, that’s not what I meant,” Lindsay said. “I actually didn’t mean anything by it.”

Brian shrugged.

“So where are you living now?” Lindsay asked trying to lighten up the conversation.

“Do you care?” Brian asked.

“Of course I care, Brian,” Lindsay assured him. “I’ll always care about you. I do love you.”

“It’s just that after all, you did throw me out,” Brian said. “Some love.”

Lindsay nodded slowly. “It was a tough decision, Brian. I told you what was going on and you didn’t want to leave.”

“This was my house too,” Brian told her and let go of Gus.

Gus ran to his sandbox immediately.

“We weren’t working Brian. You barely touched me,” Lindsay pointed out.

Brian looked up at her with fury in his eyes. “What the fuck are you talking about? You destroy our matrimony because I wasn’t fucking you enough?”

“And you stopped telling me I looked nice, how I would buy a new dress and you wouldn’t notice it. You stop telling me stuff and asking me how my day was. You stopped caring, Brian. If you ever did,” she whispered the last part.

Brian frowned and tried to defend himself. “Lindsay, I was busy with work and…”

“Brian, save it,” Lindsay said. “It’s done.”

Brian swallowed and looked towards Gus. “I’m sorry, Linds.”

Lindsay smiled sadly and nodded. “So I believe the question was where are you living?”

Brian smirked. “I’m staying with Justin.”

Lindsay started at him in shock.

“What?” Brian asked seeing her expression.

“You’re such a hypocrite!” Lindsay spat out.

“Excuse me, what the fuck are you talking about?” Brian asked.

“Why not with Michael,” Lindsay asked. “He’s your best friend.”

“What difference does it make?” Brian asked. “They are both my best friends.”

“Don’t you ever wonder why the hell was it that each time we fought you always ended up with Justin?” Lindsay asked.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Brian asked.

“Forget it,” Lindsay shouted. “Just forget it.”

“Linds, I’m going to the store. Be back in five,” Melanie said. “It’s everything okay?”

“I’ll go with you,” Lindsay said. “Gus’s toys are in his…”

“Linds, I know where his fucking toys are. I used to live here, remember?”

Lindsay bit her lower lip and nodded. “I’ll be back in a while,” Lindsey told him.

Brian just nodded and kept on looking at his son. He just wondered what the fuck Lindsay meant by him always ending up with Justin. Brian closed his eyes and got up to go play with his son. He wasn’t going to waste his time with his son thinking about anything else.


	4. Everyone Can See It

Justin put his gun down on the table and looked at his phone. He took a deep breath and answered. “AT&T, how can we help you?” Justin asked smirking.

“Don’t be a twat, Justin,” Brian said. “What are you doing?”

“Cleaning my gun,” Justin told him.

“Don’t shoot yourself accidentally,” Brian told him and snickered.

“Hey, it was only one time,” Justin hissed. “Plus that was Michael’s fault.”

Brian laughed. “I know.”

“So, how did it go?” Justin asked.

“Okay,” Brian replied in a soft voice.

“Mmmph,” Justin said sensing it hadn’t gone okay at all. “So when are you coming back?”

“Tonight,” Brian murmured. “I wish I could stay longer with him.”

Justin smiled. He knew that Brian was a great father and that the whole ordeal was taking a lot out of the man. “You’re a good father, Brian.”

“I hate all this,” Brian confessed.

Justin stayed quiet not sure what he could say.

“Are you still there?” Brian asked.

“Yeah,” Justin said and cleared his throat. "I know it's hard but I'm here for you."

“Umm, well, I’ll see you when I get there,” Brian told him.

“Okay,” Justin answered. He hung the phone and took a deep breath. That had been a little odd. With an inward shrug, Justin returned to cleaning his gun.

Reflecting on the past few days’ events, Justin knew that he couldn’t go after Brian. It didn’t matter how much he wanted the man. He wasn’t about to risk his friendship for anything in the world.

***

Emmett, Ted and Justin were having lunch when Michael came in. He looked like he just had won the lotto.

“Hey, guess what?” Michael asked sitting next to Justin.

“Your dick grew an inch?” Justin asked.

“Fuck you, Taylor,” Michael said. “I bought a comic book store.”

“I always knew you liked comics, Michael, but really, isn’t that overdoing it?” Emmett asked.

Justin laughed.

“No,” Michael yelled. “It’s not like that. I’m going to sell comics. It’s what I want to do.”

“Good for you,” Justin told him.

“I’m happy for you, Michael,” Ted offered. “Really.”

“Thanks,” Michael said. “So are you guys going to Babylon tonight?”

“I have to work tomorrow,” Justin informed them.

“That never stopped you before,” Michael told him.

“Well, it’s now,” Justin said his voice rising.

“What’s wrong with you?” Michael asked Justin. He frowned and wondered what had the blond in such a mood.

“Oh, you know him,” Emmett sing sang. “He’s thinking about Brian. He needs to go home and sulk.”

“God, Justin, I don’t know why you waste your time like that. Brian is straight, remember?” Michael told him.

“He kissed Justin,” Emmett blurted out.

“Fuck, Emmett!” Justin shouted. “Can’t you keep anything to yourself?”

“Does he ever?” Ted asked looking at Emmett.

“Brian kissed you?” Michael asked calmly. “Like on the mouth?”

Justin rolled his eyes and got up. "I'm leaving. If either of you says anything to anyone," Justin threatened, looking first at Michael, "I'm going to rip your cock off," Then turning to Emmett, he continued. "And sew your big mouth shut."

Justin looked at Ted who shook his head and made a gesture to say that his mouth was shut.

“Gee, we could do without the threats,” Emmett said and threw his arms up when Justin glared at him. “Okay, okay, our mouths are shut.”

Justin nodded and walked away.

“I bet twenty dollars that they will be together in about a month,” Ted whispered.

“Nah, I give it three weeks. Brian is finally accepting what he is. He’s going to be curious,” Emmett chirped.

“Guys, you’re both wrong. I have known Justin way longer that the two of you and Brian is my best friend,” Michael told them while he took out a twenty dollar bill. “I say by the end of the month.”

Emmett and Ted smirked.

“That’s only four more days,” Ted said.

“Wait a minute. You have always said that Brian is straight,” Emmett commented. “Do you know something we don’t?”

“I’m with you guys. I always thought that Brian was gay and too afraid to come out. But I’m his best friend and had to support him. That’s what best friends do no matter how delusional the other one is,” Michael said smirking. “And he so has the hotts for Justin.”

The three friends nodded seriously before they burst out laughing.

***

Brian opened the door and got in the house. He was exhausted and just wanted to take a hot shower and then climb into bed and forget that the world existed.

“Brian?” Justin called.

“It’s me. Don’t shoot,” Brian said.

Justin turned the light on and smiled shyly.

“What are you doing here? I thought you would be out with the guys,” Brian asked.

Justin shrugged. “I was in the study working on a case,” Justin said yawning. “You must be exhausted. Go to sleep, we can talk in the morning.”

“I’m going to my room,” Brian told him. He walked by Justin and stopped. He looked at Justin with a shy smile before going on.

“Okay,” Justin whispered.

Brian went straight to his room. After Brian took a long shower, he got in bed. The brunet just laid there waiting for sleep to claim him. He knew he was tired and his bones ached, but Brian couldn’t explain why suddenly he was wide awake.

Turning on the light, Brian tried reading a book. He tried reading a file from work and then got on the computer but nothing seemed to work. Finally around one in the morning he decided to go downstairs.

***

Justin poured himself a glass of JB and swallowed it whole.

“What are you doing up at this hour?” Brian asked. “I though you would be sleeping by now.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Justin said dryly.

“Right,” Brian whispered. He moved closer and took the bottle of JB and drank directly from it. Justin and Brian stared at each other.

“I’m sorry,” Brian said.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Justin murmured, not all sure why Brian was apologizing.

“I don’t know what came over me that night,” Brian told him.

“It’s okay, Brian. Really,” Justin said smiling. “We were drunk and high. We didn’t know what we were doing.”

Brian nodded. They stared at each other again.

“I’m sorry,” Brian spoke softly.

“You already apologized, Brian,” Justin reminded him. He was amused thought.

“It’s not for that,” Brian whispered, he was very nervous.

“What for?” Justin asked puzzled.

“For this,” Brian murmured and moved closer to Justin. He grabbed the blond by the back of the neck and kissed him. At first Justin was just paralyzed but little by little he came back to life.

Justin hugged Brian to him and moaned when Brian kissed him on the neck.

“Brian,” Justin gasped out.

“Do you want me to stop?” Brian asked.

“No,” Justin said. “Yes, no, yes, wait umm no. I…”

“It’s really hard to do anything at all when you can’t make up your mind,” Brian murmured in Justin’s ear. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I’m scared, Brian,” Justin told him. “I don’t want to do anything to fuck up our friendship.”

“I promise that would never happen,” Brian said.

“You don’t know that, Brian,” Justin told him getting angry. “Fuck!”

“No, I don’t,” Brian hissed as mad as Justin.

“Why are we fighting?” Justin asked.

“We’re stupid like that,” Brian replied and arched both his brows. He really had no clue why they were arguing.

Justin pouted.

“I think we will be okay,” Brian murmured.

“What are you saying?” Justin asked pulling away from Brian. “You want to try to have a relationship with me?”

“I don’t know, Justin. Goddamn, I just came out of a marriage but…the more I think about it the more I think I got married for the wrong reasons.”

Justin nodded.

“I won’t lie to you Justin. I’m confused but you always got me that way,” Brian told him.

Justin looked up shocked.

“I just…let’s just take it slow,” Brian whispered.

Justin looked at Brian for a long time before he just nodded, not sure if he was making the right decision but giving into his heart’s desire.

“What now?” Brian asked.

“I’m going to bed,” Justin told him. “We can talk about this in the morning.”

“Right,” Brian said slowly. He watched Justin leave but he stayed in the kitchen. Brian took a sip of the JB and sat on a stool still wide awake and thinking about Justin’s sweet lips.


	5. Over A Fucking Kiss

Justin got in and closed the door. He took off his tie and dropped it on the floor. He walked to the living room where Brian was drinking a beer.

“I’m free tomorrow,” Justin told him smiling.

“I’m not,” Brian said.

“It figures,” Justin whispered sitting down. “So what did you do today?”

“Nothing,” Brian replied.

“Bet you’re really tired,” Justin said smirking.

Brian arched a brow and grinned. “You’re still the class clown, Taylor?”

“Hey, at least I’m not Mr. Broody,” Justin pointed out. “So why are you like this?”

“I’m thinking,” Brian answered.

Justin nodded. “About us?”

“Yeah,” Brian acknowledged.

“Oh,” Justin said. “I have been thinking about us too.”

“Don’t tell me you changed your mind. I already call mom and told her I was gay and we were dating,” Brian said very seriously.

“You did what?” Justin asked yelling. “Have you lost your fucking mind?”

Brian smirked.

“Uh,” Justin said rolling his eyes. “You’re an idiot.”

“And you’re still gullible,” Brian told him.

Justin smiled and got up. He sat back down next to Brian. “We’re still us. That’s good,” Justin whispered referring to the fact that they still joked around.

“Yeah,” Brian agreed.

“The only thing is that now we get to kiss,” Justin murmured getting close to Brian.

Brian put his beer down and looked at Justin. He moved in slowly to kiss Justin when suddenly there was a knock on the door.

“Fuck,” Justin said getting up quickly. “Hold that thought,” he told Brian and went to open the door. When he did, Daphne came in rushing with Angel and his things.

“What’s going on?” Justin asked.

“I need to leave Angel here,” Daphne said. “Jessica is sick and he can’t be near her. I’m taking care of her and if I do I can’t touch him.”

“But Daphne,” Justin started.

“Justin,” Daphne hissed. “You don’t work tomorrow. I know because I called your captain.”

“You went over my head and called my captain?” Justin asked incredulous. “Plus it’s not even that. I have no clue whatsoever on how to take care of him. I mean I go and play with him and all that but that’s when you guys are there and…”

“Justin,” Daphne said firmly.

“What?” Justin asked.

“You’re babbling,” Daphne said.

Brian came towards them and picked up Angel. “I know how to take care of a baby. I can teach you,” Brian said.

Justin smiled sweetly at him. Daphne looked at the two of them and knew that something was going on. She didn’t have time to find out right away but she was going to.

“Hey Brian,” Daphne said smiling.

“Daphne,” Brian said nodding at her.

“I brought everything. He has clothes and diapers and his food and milk. Um, I brought that toy he likes. If you wave it at him he stops crying. He sleeps most of the day anyway. Anything happens and you call me,” Daphne was telling them.

“Daph,” Justin stopped her.

“What?” Daphne asked screaming.

“Breathe,” Justin told her.

Brian shook his head at the two of them and walked with Angel to the living room.

“Right, uh, Stacy said she could pick him up on Sunday. So by then I’m hoping that Jessica is better,” Daphne told him.

“Okay,” Justin told her.

“Thank you,” Daphne said kissing Justin in the lips really quick. “Thank you.”

Justin smiled and nodded. Daphne left quickly after that.

“So why didn’t you have him with Daphne?” Brian asked when they were in the living room changing Angel.

Justin looked up at Brian and frowned. He looked back at Angel before he answered Brian. “She can’t have kids, Brian.”

“Oh,” Brian muttered.

“It was horrible when we found out. At first we had thought there was something wrong with me. Then the doctor told us what was going on,” Justin related.

“So Jessica was the answer,” Brian said.

Justin smiled and nodded. “Daphne didn’t talk to me for about a month. Then one day the two of them come walking in with the idea and smiling happily. I didn’t ask anything. I just nodded and did it,” Justin said shrugging. “I would do anything to make her happy.”

“You’re an excellent man,” Brian told him and got up.

“Thanks,” Justin said smiling from ear to ear.

Brian caressed Justin’s lips when the phone started ringing.

“Fuck,” Brian whispered.

“Don’t let my son hear you,” Justin told him and moved to answer the phone.

***

Justin couldn’t believe what was happening. He wanted to shoot someone or himself for that matter. As long as he didn’t have to be sitting there he would gladly die. Anything was better that the hell he was going through right now. But two days ago when he had answered the phone to accept the invitation to Deb’s house for dinner, Ethan wasn’t part of the equation.

“So how you been?” Ethan asked.

“Good,” Justin said looking at Debbie that was smiling. “What are you doing here?”

“I invited him,” Debbie said.

“I told her it was a bad idea,” Vic whispered.

Jessica and Daphne looked at each other with worried faces.

“He said he wanted to see Sunshine,” Debbie said. “They made such a cute couple.”

“This isn’t good,” Ted whispered to Emmett. “Look at the way Brian is looking at Ethan.”

Brian sat there feeling like it was his duty to kill Ethan. He couldn’t believe how mad he was feeling right now. Justin had never told him he had been seeing someone seriously. Brian frowned thinking Justin didn’t owe him any explanations but still he was pissed to see Justin’s ex-lover at the table.

“Are you seeing anyone?” Ethan asked.

“I…” Justin said and stopped himself. He was going to answer that he was but he and Brian had agreed not to tell anyone.

“Yeah, he is,” Brian replied.

Justin just sat there quiet wondering how the hell he was going to get out of that one. If he said that it was Brian he was going to be in deep trouble since he promised Brian he wasn’t going to tell anyone. He had told the guys but they weren’t going to say anything. Then there was the fact that if he stayed quiet Ethan was going to think that Brian was lying.

“You are?” Ethan asked surprised.

“Wow,” Michael whispered to Ben. “This is too good to be true. We might actually see blood run tonight.”

“Shh,” Ben told him.

“I didn’t know you were seeing someone, Sunshine,” Debbie said. “Who is he?”

Justin laughed and thought about how crazy it all was.

“Well,” Ethan said.

“You don’t know him,” Justin said to Ethan.

“Does he treat you good?” Ethan asked.

“Better than you ever did,” Justin hissed.

Brian was seriously thinking of pulling out his gun and shooting Ethan. Brian looked at Justin and smiled at little at the things Justin made him want to do even when the blond wasn’t pushing him himself.

“Okay, who wants dessert?” Vic asked while getting up.

“Maybe I should go,” Ethan said, also getting up.

“Yeah maybe you should,” Justin said.

“Sunshine, you’re being awfully rude,” Debbie told him.

“Ma!” Michael whined. “I think he has a right to be pissed. Ethan treated him like shit and even cheated on him. Plus I think someone might feel a little jealous about this whole thing. Right Br…”

“Michael!” Ben and Emmett said.

Michael smiled and looked at Brian who was glaring at him. Brian looked at Justin and wondered if the blond had said anything to anyone.

“Never mind,” Michael said forgetting for a minute that he wasn’t supposed to say anything.

“I’m going to go check on Angel,” Jessica said.

“I’m going to go,” Ethan said walking away to get his coat.

Justin got up and followed him. Everyone else got up to do something. Either it was to use the bathroom, get something to drink or get closer to Ethan and Justin to hear what they were saying.

“Don’t come here again,” Justin warned him.

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to see you,” Ethan said then he smiled at the blond. He wanted to get back with Justin so badly. “I’m sorry for everything, Jus.”

“Whatever,” Justin replied.

“I hope you’re happy with whoever you are,” Ethan said and kissed Justin on the lips.

Justin was shocked and pulled away. Brian moved forward and punched Ethan. He couldn’t believe that the little weasel would go so far. Brian was furious to say the least. Justin’s lips belonged to him and no one else.

“Keep your fucking paws off of him,” Brian yelled.

Daphne stopped going up the stairs, her foot just hanging up about to touch the next step. Emmett’s mouth hung open and Vic didn’t even turn to look at what was happening. Debbie’s hand stood frozen in the air about to give Michael a beer and Michael’s hand was also in the air about to receive it. Ben didn’t move but was ready in case he needed to intervene. Jessica sat down and found something very interesting in Angel’s face because she wasn’t looking up. Ted frantically looked around from person to person not sure if it was him, the people around him or if time had really stopped.

Brian looked at Justin and wondered if he had overreacted. Justin wasn’t actually his but he liked to think that one day the blond would belong to him. Brian looked at Ethan and frowned. He wanted the guy to leave.

Ethan got up and looked at Justin who was looking at the floor. Brian was glaring at him and he had an idea of what was going on.

“You’re with him,” Ethan said in a really low voice.

Justin looked up but didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry, okay. I didn’t know,” Ethan said looking at Brian.

Brian stepped away and Ethan passed by.

“What the fuck is going on?” Debbie screamed. “What does he mean you’re with him, Sunshine?”

Brian looked at them and his heart started racing. He looked at Justin that was looking at him for help. Brian looked at them and shrugged. “We’re together,” Brian told them. “So, where is dessert?” Brian asked sarcastically.

Justin looked at him and then at the rest of the people in the house. Life with Brian was going to be anything but boring.


	6. Not Good News

Justin was sitting on his desk talking to Rick, his partner, when all of the sudden someone sent the water cooler flying across the room. Justin looked up to see Brian standing there looking very angry.

“What’s with him?” Rick asked.

“I have no fucking clue,” Justin told him and watched Cynthia trying to calm Brian down.

Justin got up and walked up to them. “What’s going on?” Justin asked.

Brian grabbed his coat and left ignoring Justin’s question.

“He got a call from Baltimore,” Cynthia said.

Justin nodded knowing that Lindsey and Melanie were living there now.

“Apparently, they had an accident,” Cynthia informed him.

“Oh my god,” Justin whispered. “Is it serious?”

“I don’t know, Taylor,” Cynthia replied.

“Cap, can I ask for a few days off?” Justin asked.

“I need you here, Taylor,” She reminded him.

“Two days max. I just want to make sure that they’re all okay,” Justin told her.

She frowned but nodded. “Fine, take the whole week off but starting Monday, you’re going to be here,” Cynthia demanded.

Justin nodded and went back to his desk. “I have to go.”

“What’s going on?” Rick asked.

“I’ll call you,” Justin told him before he left.

By the time Justin got home Brian was already packed. Justin went to his room and grabbed a few of his clothes and threw them in a bag. Justin took off his gun and locked it away. He took his badge with him just in case.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Brian asked when Justin came down.

“With you,” Justin told him.

“No,” Brian said dryly.

“Yes,” Justin told him. “You need a friend at your side.”

“They…they…she’s dead,” Brian blurted out.

Justin opened his mouth in shock not sure what to do or say. Slowly, he walked over to Brian and hugged him.

“She’s dead, Justin. She’s fucking gone,” Brian said shaking.

Justin didn’t say anything to Brian. He was pretty sure that there wasn’t anything he could tell Brian that would help.

“I have to go,” Brian told him. “You don’t have to go, Justin.”

“I want to go,” Justin assured him.

Brian frowned but gave in.

***

Justin walked behind Brian to the hospital. They found Melanie sitting in the hard plastic chairs with a couple of scratches on her face and a broken arm. She looked up at them with blood shot eyes but didn’t dare say anything.

“What the fuck happened?” Brian demanded his voice carrying throughout the hospital corridor.

“Brian,” Justin murmured.

Brian glared at Justin and Justin felt an inch tall.

“Tell me what happen, Mel,” Brian hissed.

Melanie started crying. “We…we were driving to pick up Gus and the road was kind of slippery. I told her to take it easy but she said that we were already late,” Melanie said.

“What happen then?” Brian asked.

“I never saw it coming. One minute I’m looking directly at the road and the next we’re going in circles,” Melanie sobbed. “I could hear Lindsey screaming but then everything went black.”

Justin put his hand on her back and encouraged her to finish the story. Brian glared at him but Justin didn’t care.

“When I woke up the doctor told me that I was going to be okay. The police came and took my statement and then…one of them told me what had happened,” Melanie said.

“It’s okay,” Justin whispered.

“A truck hit Lindsey’s side and…they said she wasn’t going to make it,” Melanie whispered.

“Who has Gus?” Justin asked her.

“My mother has him,” Melanie said. “Is he going to take Gus away from me?”

“Mel, it’s his kid. What do you want him to do?” Justin asked.

“I just…god I can’t believe this is really happening,” Melanie sobbed.

Justin hugged her and let her cry. Brian just walked away from them. He couldn’t believe that Justin could be so good to her. The woman hadn’t been able to take care of Lindsey. He was furious at her and at himself. Lindsey was dead because they weren’t able to protect her.

Brian reached the nurse’s station and asked for Lindsey’s room. The nurse looked at him with pity and told him what had happened. He nodded and asked her to take him to see his wife. When Brian reached the room and saw the body laying there Brian though he was going to die. Lindsey was really dead.

***

Justin knocked on the door and Brian looked up. “I have been looking for you,” Justin murmured.

Brian let go of Lindsey’s hand. He had been trying to talk to her. Say something before he walked away from her forever but nothing came to mind. Brian just sat there holding her hand and staring at the white sheets that were covering her.

“What do you want to do?” Justin asked.

Brian looked at Justin and got up. “I want to pick Gus up,” Brian told him.

Justin nodded. When they came to the hall Melanie was still sitting there looking into space. Brian grabbed her roughly and demanded to know where his son was.

“I’ll take you there,” Melanie yelled pulling away from him.

“Brian, calm down,” Justin hissed.

Brian looked at Justin and relaxed a little bit. The three of them got into the rental car. Melanie sat in the back seat and instructed Justin where to drive. When they got to the house there was a police car in front, with three other cars behind. Justin and Brian got out and Melanie followed them into the house.

“What the hell is going on here?” Brian asked.

There were two officers talking to a woman which was holding Gus. Mrs. Peterson was sitting in the couch with a woman that was talking to her.

“Brian,” Mrs. Peterson said. “We’re just trying to take Gus home.”

“Daddy!” Gus shouted. “Daddy, daddy.”

Brian took his son and started walking away. The woman in the couch got up quickly.

“I’m Susan Parker, I’m with social services. Are you Brian Kinney?” She asked.

Brian nodded.

“We want to know what you’re planning on doing with Gus,” Susan asked.

“I’m taking him home with me,” Brian informed her.

“You cannot take him,” Mrs. Peterson yelled.

“He’s my son,” Brian told her.

“But…” Mrs. Peterson tried to say something.

“He can take him,” Susan said and waved at the cops so they would exit the house. “He’s the father and he’s in his rights.”

Justin looked at her and then at Lindsey’s mom who was furious. He looked at Mel’s mom who looked sad.

“I called the cops,” Ana said.

Mrs. Peterson glared at Melanie’s mom.

“She was trying to take Gus away,” Ana pointed out.

“It’s okay,” Melanie told her.

“Let’s go,” Justin said and opened the door for Brian who practically flew out. “Mel, did you guys have another car seat?”

Melanie nodded. “It’s in my car,” She said as the tears started again. Melanie dug in her pants and pulled out a set of keys. She handed it to Justin before she went up the stairs into her room. Justin went outside where Brian was waiting. He changed the car seat to the rental car and then went back in to leave the keys.

“Our plane leaves tomorrow,” Justin said to Brian who was sitting in the back seat with Gus.

Brian nodded.

“I booked us a hotel suite with two bedrooms,” Justin said.

“Thank you,” Brian said. “We…we need to get Gus’s stuff.”

“I can do that in the morning,” Justin told him.

Brian nodded and went back to look at his son. The only thing he had left in the world and he was going to take care of him.

***

Justin put the sleeping Gus down on the bed and walked out to the other room. He looked at Brian and his heart broke into a million pieces. He wanted to take the man in his arms and make all of his pain go away. “Do you want anything to eat or drink?” Justin asked.

“No thanks,” Brian replied.

“Brian,” Justin whispered.

“Shut up. Don’t say anything. I really don’t want to hear it,” Brian warned him.

Justin kept quiet.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do now? She’s dead. She’s not coming back,” Brian whispered and started crying.

Justin put his arm around Brian and tried to console him.

“I don’t want to feel like this,” Brian whimpered.

Justin pulled Brian close to him and kissed him hard. Brian pulled Justin closer and they started kissing each other painfully. Justin pushed Brian back in the bed. Justin got on top of Brian and started kissing Brian everywhere.

“Justin,” Brian moaned.

Justin looked up at Brian before he opened Brian’s bathrobe. He kissed Brian’s chest and stomach. He played with Brian’s navel and looked up at Brian to see if Brian wanted to stop. Justin kept going and wondered if he was doing the right thing. He could hear Brian crying but he didn’t stop. Brian wrapped his fingers in Justin’s hair and arched towards Justin.

“Oh god,” Brian moaned and came in Justin’s mouth.

Justin swallowed every single drop of Brian and then moved up to kiss Brian. Brian kissed him hard before he started crying. Justin hugged him and caressed Brian’s back to try and make him feel better.

“We’re going to be okay,” Justin told Brian.

Brian didn’t move or say anything. He just held onto Justin until he fell asleep. Soon after that Justin followed him.

***

Justin opened his eyes and looked at Brian who was sitting on the bed. He moved closer to Brian but Brian pulled away. Justin frowned and got up. He walked around the bed to see Brian face to face when Brian grabbed the sheets and covered his nakedness. Justin stood there in shock not sure of what was going on.

Justin tried to say something but he couldn’t think of anything. He moved closer to Brian and tried to touch Brian’s face but Brian pulled away once again. Justin felt his heart breaking so he just turned around and walked away. Tears were threatening to come out but he wasn’t going to cry. Justin told himself over and over that it didn’t mean anything. That Brian just wanted to be alone and they were okay. If he cried it meant that he had just fucked things up.


	7. Rage

Daphne was pacing back and forward in her office. When the phone rang, she picked it up on the first ring.

“Daphne?” Justin asked.

“Justin? Where have you been?” Daphne asked grateful to hear him.

“I’m in Baltimore,” Justin answered and knew something was wrong.

“What are you doing over there?” Daphne asked sitting down.

“I’m here to help Brian. Lindsey was in an accident,” Justin informed her.

“Is she okay?” Daphne asked.

“She’s dead, Daph,” Justin told her.

“Oh my god,” Daphne shrieked.

There was a long silence.

“How is he doing?” Daphne asked.

“Not good, I might have fucked things over,” Justin said.

“What?” Daphne asked.

“Daphne, fuck, I gave him a blow job,” Justin related.

“You did what?” Daphne asked. “When?”

“Last night, he was crying and saying he didn’t want to feel that way. So we started kissing and next thing you know…well you know,” Justin said.

“Wow, so what’s the problem?” Daphne asked. “You did a bad job?”

“Fuck you,” Justin hissed and rolled his eyes. “He doesn’t want me to touch him. He won’t even look me in the face,” Justin said. “It was so fucking horrible. I mean…not the sex…it was, it just wasn’t the right time.”

“I’m sorry Justin. When are you coming back?” Daphne asked a little nervous.

“Why?” Justin asked. “It’s something wrong?”

“It’s your mom. You dad went to her apartment and he…fuck…” Daphne said.

“Did he hit her, Daphne?” Justin asked angrily.

“Yes, he knocked her unconscious. Molly found her,” Daphne said. “She called Stacy. She was a mess.”

“I’ll be there in about two more hours. Call Rick and tell him what happened. Tell him I want someone watching mom,” Justin hissed.

“Okay,” Daphne told him. “Justin, don’t worry about anything. Your mom is going to be okay. Brian is going to come around. Everything is going to be fine.

Justin hung up. Daphne put the phone down and closed her eyes. She prayed everything would be fine.

***

Justin came inside Molly and George’s house with Brian, Gus and Daphne, who had picked them up in the airport. When he got inside he found Rick, Stacy, Molly, George, Jessica and Angel there. He smiled at them and went up to see his mother.

“Mom,” Justin whispered when he was next to her.

“Justin. Hey baby, come here,” Jennifer told him.

Justin smiled and didn’t let the bruises bother him.

“I must look horrible,” she said.

“What happened?” Justin asked sitting on the bed.

“Your father got drunk and lost it,” Jennifer explained. “I’m going to be okay.”

“Mom, you have to press charges,” Justin insisted.

“I’m filing for a divorce and I’m going to be staying with Molly and George,” She informed him.

“Don’t you want to stay with me?” Justin asked.

Jennifer smiled and shook her head. Justin and Jennifer talked about what happened for a while. Then Brian came in the room.

“Hey, Mrs. Taylor,” Brian said.

“Hey Brian,” Jennifer said smiling trying to sit down. “Come here.”

Brian went to her and she took his hand.

“Debbie tells me that the two of you’re together now,” Jennifer said smiling and took Justin’s hand too.

Brian and Justin looked at each other and then at their hands together before they looked at Jennifer.

“I think you guys are good for each other,” Jennifer said. “You take care oh him baby.”

“I will mom,” Justin told her trying to smile.

“I’m so happy for the two of you,” Jennifer said.

“Hey, guys, mom has to rest,” Molly told them as she came into the room.

Brian nodded and pulled his hand away. Justin frowned and followed him out of the room.

“I’m going to go out for a while with Rick. I’ll be back in a little while,” Justin said to Brian.

“I’m going with you,” Brian told him.

“You don’t have to,” Justin assured him as he walked faster to the exit.

“I want to,” Brian argued right behind the blond.

Justin smiled and nodded.

***

Justin knocked on the door and walked in. Craig looked up a little surprised. “I just came from seeing mom.”

Craig frowned.

“You’re such a fucking bastard,” Justin yelled.

“Justin, I work here. Could you please tone it down?” Craig told him, getting up to close the door.

“It’s late dad. There is nobody around at this hour,” Justin hissed and looked at the desk where his father had a bottle of vodka. He glared at his father and rushed towards him. Justin grabbed him by the neck and pushed him against the door. “You’re not so tough when you’re not beating a poor defenseless woman, are you?”

“It was a mistake. I’m sorry,” Craig told him.

“It’s always a mistake, dad,” Justin hissed. “Mom could barely walk. She said you took a fucking chair and crashed it into her back.”

“Justin,” Craig choked out.

“No! I don’t want to hear it Craig,” Justin shouted and let go of his father. “If you come near mom again, I’m going to kill you and bury the body in the backyard.”

Craig stood there frozen. Justin pushed him to the side and left the office. Justin reached the car and got inside slamming the door.

“What happen? You didn’t kill him, did you?” Rick asked.

“Not yet,” Justin spat out.

“Oh, so I brought the shovels for nothing,” Rick told him starting the car.

Justin smirked.

“That’s not funny,” Brian told them.

Justin and Rick looked at each other with a serious look.

“I’m sorry,” Rick told him. “Where do I take you guys now?”

“Take us to Molly’s house,” Brian said. “We need to go pick Gus up.”

Justin nodded and Rick drove there.

***

“What are you doing?” Justin asked as he came down to the kitchen.

“I’m looking for apartments,” Brian told him.

“Why?” Justin asked. “I told you this was your home too.”

“It’s not,” Brian told him.

Justin flinched at the words. “Brian, I don’t want you to go,” Justin whispered.

“I can’t stay here anymore, Justin,” Brian answered.

Justin gasped out a dry laugh and went to get himself a drink. He got himself a glass and a bottle of JD. When he finished serving himself another shot Brian took it away.

“What are you doing?” Brian asked.

“What, are you fucking blind?” Justin asked a little too loud.

“Justin, relax,” Brian told him.

“I don’t want to fucking relax. I want to know why the fuck you’re running away,” Justin told him.

“I’m not running away. You don’t know a fucking thing,” Brian hissed.

“Oh, right,” Justin told him. “I guess I most have been delirious when I thought I meant something to you.”

Brian closed his eyes and drank the shot of JD. “This way is better,” Brian told him. “We can still try things out. I don’t think living together will help.”

“That’s bullshit, Brian,” Justin spat out. “And you knot it.”

“It’s the truth,” Brian simply said.

“No. Do you think I would be so fucking angry if that was all? If I knew that you walking out that door wouldn’t change things? You’re not moving into an apartment to do things right. You’re moving away because you’re a fucking coward,” Justin hissed.

“I’m not,” Brian told him. “I should have move out the first time we kissed. It would have been the right thing to do.”

“Right and once you’re out of here you will be calling to tell me something came up and a hundred and one excuses of why you cannot come and see me,” Justin said. He wanted to just drop to the floor and cry. But he wouldn’t in front of Brian.

“That’s not going to happen,” Brian assured him.

“Whatever you say, Brian,” Justin told him fuming.

“Don’t do this. Don’t fuck our friendship,” Brian warned him.

“Oh, but I’m not,” Justin said. “Our friendship is just fucking fine, Brian. It’s our relationship that is so damn screw up and it hasn’t even started. I try to touch you or kiss you and you just move away from me. And maybe it was wrong of me to fucking suck you off when you were so confused. It wasn’t such a big deal. Get over it.”

Brian moved forward and pushed Justin against the counter hard. “It was to me!”

“Right, use that as an excuse. Blame me, Brian. I don’t fucking care,” Justin told him pushing him away and walking out of the room.

Brian picked the bottle of JD and served him himself another shot. He sat down on a stool and kept looking at apartments for rent.


	8. When You Least Expect It

Justin looked at Daphne and then at Jessica. “Do I really have to be here?” Justin asked not really serious.

“Well, let me think about it,” Daphne mocked. “It’s your son’s birthday. So I’m thinking yes.”

“You two are fucking nuts,” Jessica said. “So, umm, tell him.”

“Tell me what?” Justin asked.

“Brian and Gus are coming,” Daphne said.

“I figured,” Justin replied and sighed.

“Have you guys talked?” Jessica asked while she folded some towels.

Justin scrunched up his face. “Not that much. After he moved in with Stacy things haven’t been the same,” Justin told them. “The first month I said it was because he needed to deal with Lindsey’s death. The second month was he needed to deal with Gus and their new schedule. The third month I started to think I was a complete idiot and now I just want to kick his ass for being an asshole.”

“Don’t worry. My sis says that he’s moping around the house all day. I guess he misses you too,” Jessica told him.

“When did she tell you that?” Justin asked surprised.

“Like a week ago before she left to go visit mom,” Jessica told her.

“Why didn’t you go visit your mom too?” Justin asked.

“That would be because mom and I don’t get along that well,” Jessica said. “She always liked Stacy better.”

Daphne smiled and kissed Jessica. “I like you better,” Daphne told her in a low sexy voice.

“Hello, gay man here,” Justin told them. “What was I thinking when I let him kiss me?”

“Uh, this is hot?” Daphne teased. “Uh, wow, I’m kissing Brian.”

Justin glared at her. “Don’t be an ass,” Justin told her. “So did you get everything ready?”

“Pretty much,” Jessica said.

Daphne and Jessica looked at each other. Justin saw the look and rolled his eyes.

“So how can I help guys?” Justin asked.

Daphne smiled.

“And how much is going to cost me?” Justin asked.

“We just want to have a clown for him,” Jessica said.

“Oh my god. Do I really have to be here?” Justin asked.

Daphne swatted him.

“He’s just one year old,” Justin said.

“But there are going to be kids of all ages,” Daphne contradicted. “Gus is almost three years old. I think he would enjoy a clown.”

“Bribery will not work. Plus he’s young enough to be traumatized by one silly clown,” Justin said.

“Are you talking from experience?” Jessica asked that was trying not to laugh.

Justin looked at Daphne who was looking away. “You told her!” Justin screamed.

Jessica started laughing fully.

“I can’t believe you guys. No clowns!” Justin hissed and got up.

Daphne looked at Jessica who was turning red. She shook her head and went after Justin. She was going to have to do some convincing.

***

Brian came inside the party with Stacy and Gus. He looked everywhere and thought that having a heart attack wouldn’t be overrated, since there were kids everywhere. Brian came to a stop when he saw a clown and smiled when he saw Justin as far away as possible. He knew Justin had a thing with clowns.

“Hey, Brian,” George said.

“Hey,” Brian said. “Where is your wife?” Brian had always made fun of the fact that George and Molly had always been together when they were dating. No one ever saw one without the other.

“She’s with Jennifer upstairs. We’re not attached at the hip,” George told him.

“You could have fooled me,” Brian said smirking.

“So how are things with Justin?” George asked grinning. He knew thing weren’t so good.

Brian glared at him and didn’t answer him. He kept on walking until he reached a safe place to put Gus. Gus immediately ran off to meet the clown. Brian shook his head and walked into the kitchen.

“Hey, Mikey,” Brian said.

“Hey, Brian,” Michael said kissing him. “How are you doing?”

“I’m okay,” Brian answered.

Michael nodded and looked at Ben, trying to tell him to leave them alone. Ben got the meaning and left the kitchen.

“So how have you really been?” Michael asked.

“Not so good,” Brian told him and shrugged.

“Have you talked to Justin?” Michael asked.

Brian shook his head.

“You should. He’s miserable without you,” Michael informed him.

Brian gave him a warning look. Michael threw his arms up and took a step back.

“Okay, okay. I won’t say anything,” Michael said. “It’s not like I’m trying to help you or anything like that,” he said and rolled his eyes.

“Guys, we’re going to go sing Happy Birthday before the kids start to get cranky,” Jessica told them. “Where is Emmett?”

“I think he’s in the backyard,” Michael told her.

“I’ll go get him,” Brian offered.

Justin watched Brian going out back. Emmett and Ted came in with a couple of other people and some kids. Brian stayed back and Justin went to get him. Brian lit a cigarette and took a long drag.

“Those will kill you,” Justin said. Then he sat down next to Brian and took the cigarette away from him.

Brian looked at him and smiled. Justin smiled and then blew the smoke out.

“How you been?” Brian asked.

Justin shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”

Brian nodded and took the cigarette back.

“So, umm, I was thinking maybe we should go running tomorrow? I miss that,” Justin said.

Brian looked at Justin and after a while he nodded.

“Come on. Let’s go put our singing skills in action,” Justin said.

Brian smirked and put the cigarette out and followed Justin inside.

***

Brian laughed when he passed Justin. Justin frowned and ran faster until he was next to Brian.

“What are you doing?” Justin asked.

“I’m proving to you that I’m better,” Brian informed him.

“Right, okay so…whoever gets to the house first wins?” Justin asked him.

Brian nodded.

“You’re on,” Justin said and pinched Brian on the ass.

“Hey,” Brian protested and stopped.

Justin laughed and took off on running. Brian started running after him but couldn’t catch up with him until they got to the house.

“I guess I win,” Justin told him as he opened the door.

“You cheated,” Brian protested.

“I did not,” Justin uttered in a sarcastic voice. He went to the fridge and took two waters out giving one to Brian.

Brian took it and glared at Justin. “It wasn’t fair,” Brian whispered.

“I say it was,” Justin protested.

Brian pushed Justin against the wall. “You pinched my butt.”

“Oh, that, it was for motivation, like basketball players do to their teammates,” Justin assured him.

Brian shook his head. “They don’t pinch each other’s ass.”

“I guess I got it wrong,” Justin told him smiling as he took a sip of water and pretended that Brian’s hand on his chest wasn’t bothering him.

“You just wanted to feel my butt,” Brian said licking his lips, pretending that being so close to Justin wasn’t affecting him.

“Yeah, you got me,” Justin murmured. “It’s just that you have such a nice…”

Brian shut him up by kissing him. Justin kissed him back with equal force. They started rubbing against each other and both bottles fell to the floor. Then all of the sudden Brian stopped and pulled back. Justin bit his lower lip thinking that he had made the wrong move once again.

“I have to go,” Brian told him. “Stacy has to be leaving soon and I have to take Gus to daycare.”

Justin nodded and Brian turned to leave but stopped. He walked up to Justin who was looking at the floor.

“Brian?” Justin asked looking up.

Brian kissed him quickly and smiled.

“I’ll…I’ll call you. Okay. Bye,” Brian stuttered and then kissed Justin again. “Bye.”

“Okay,” Justin whispered a bit startled by Brian’s behavior.

Brian nodded and then kissed him again.

“Brian,” Justin whispered.

“What?” Brian asked.

“You’re leaving,” Justin whispered smiling from ear to ear.

“Yeah. I am,” Brian nodded and left quickly.

Justin smiled and was touching his lips when the door was opened and Brian came inside. He kissed Justin hard once more before he really left.


	9. Falling

Brian saw Justin walking directly for the coffee and doughnuts that some rookie cop had just brought. Brian got up and walked up to Justin like nothing was happening even thought his heart was beating so fast that he felt it was going to break out of his chest.

“Hey,” Brian said.

Justin looked at Brian and gave him a quick smile.

“How is it going?” Brian asked.

Justin shrugged.

“I guess is okay.”

Brian nodded and they just stood there for a few seconds. Brian was trying to talk without choking on his words and Justin waiting for Brian to say something.

“You were right,” Brian said. “I was running away.”

Justin smirked.

“Do you think we can talk about it tonight?” Brian asked.

“Sure,” Justin told him and bit into a glazed doughnut. “I expect some answers.”

Brian nodded.

“You have been an asshole, you know,” Justin told him.

“We’ll talk about it later. I’ll explain to you why I pushed you away. Then I will beg for forgiveness,” Brian told him the last part sarcastically. “Oh and can you stop grinning like a fool.”

“I like being right.”

Brian smirked and nodded before he walked away.

“What was that all about?” Rick asked.

“Not much.”

“Taylor.”

“Barlow.”

“What are we, ten?” Rick asked. “I have been your partner for twelve years. Now tell me what’s going on.”

Justin looked at his partner and nodded. He pointed towards one of the investigation rooms and walked ahead. Rick followed him and locked the door.

“What is the mystery about?” Rick asked sarcastically and started to laugh.

“Brian and I are trying to be together.”

Rick’s laugh died.

“Are you serious?”

“Why would I joke around with that?” Justin asked.

“You are always joking around, Justin.”

“I know but this is serious.”

“Wow,” Rick said frowning. “This is not going to affect your work is it?”

“Of course not,” Justin assured him. “It’s been going for quite a while actually. I kept it really quiet because Brian is still having doubts about it.”

“I see.”

Justin nodded and waited for his partner to say something else.

“Do you love him?”

Justin scoffed.

“Don’t get all lesbian on me now,” Justin told him. “I thought you would be telling me how this is wrong and…”

“Justin,” Rick said in a dry voice.

“What?” Justin asked.

“I have known you for a long time. And you have never been with someone for more than six months. I want to see you happy. I’m asking you because now it all makes sense. Why Brian was so protective of you. Why you smiled at him like a lost fool.”

“I do not,” Justin protested.

“Yeah, whatever,” Rick said.

“Do you think I’m making a mistake? What if it doesn’t work?”

“People can’t live by what ifs, Justin. Your life would pass you by that way and you will never accomplish anything,” Rick informed him.

Justin frowned.

“I think you are right.”

“I’m always right. I’m wiser.”

“You mean older.”

“Fuck you Taylor,” Rick said smirking. “So what did Brian want to talk to you about?”

“He says he wants to talk and I hope he comes to his senses and admits he can’t resist me.”

“You were always so full of yourself,” Rick said laughing.

Justin laughed and then got serious.

“That’s why I was so cranky this past couple of months,” Justin told him. “I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner. We kind of stopped seeing each other after Lindsey died. Things just got complicated and he freaked out.”

“That’s okay,” Rick assured him. “But don’t keep anything else from me, Justin.”

“I won’t,” Justin agreed.

“Yeah, I will have to kick your ass for not trusting me.”

Justin smirked and nodded.

***

Justin’s badge was hanging from his neck when he entered the building. Rick was after him and they went up the stairs to the third floor. A couple of cops in uniforms were waiting for them. Rick took his gun and got ready to enter the apartment. When Justin was ready he gave the signal and one officer kicked the door in yelling it was the police.

Justin and Rick entered the apartment after two officers. They started searching the living room when behind a door the man they were looking for came out shooting at them. Justin jumped behind the couch and lay low.

“Fuck,” Rick hissed when a bullet hit him in the shoulder.

The aggressor was about to shoot Rick again when Justin jumped and pushed Rick out of the way. Justin raised his gun and shot the assailant when he saw him about to shoot once more. Justin saw the officers running into the room and he got up. He walked over to Rick and checked him out.

“Are you okay?” Justin asked.

Rick nodded and looked at Justin.

“It’s just a scratch and it…Justin?” Rick asked as he saw his partner’s face go blank.

Justin landed on his knees before he went face down into the carpet. More cops started to come and some ran to were Justin was. Rick got on his knees to check his partner. Justin had been hit and he hadn’t even realized it.

“Turn him around. Put pressure in the wound,” Rick instructed the officer next to him.

“We have a man down,” The other officer reported.

Soon enough paramedics were inside the apartment. To Rick it had been like an eternity. He had tried talking to Justin but Justin was as pale as a ghost. He could feel Justin’s cold face and he was starting to get scared. Once Justin was taken away and he followed in another ambulance, he couldn’t help but think that the bullet was meant for him. That he would have died if it wasn’t for Justin.

***

Brian knocked on the door a couple of times but he didn’t get any response. He used his key to let himself inside the house. He called for Justin a few times but still didn’t get any reply. Brian went to the kitchen and took out a beer before he went and sat down in the living room. He was going to wait for the blonde. He was sure that Justin was going to come home at any minute.

Brian turned off the T.V. and looked at the time. He had been waiting for two hours and no Justin. He had called Justin’s phone but it had been turned off so he just decided to go home. Maybe Justin was punishing him some how for what Brian had done.

Brian picked up the flowers he had brought for Justin. He wondered what the hell he was thinking. He closed Justin’s house and on his way out threw the flowers in a trash can he saw near where he had parked. Brian got into his car and drove home.

Brian parked his jeep and got out. He felt like beating the shit out of Justin for being such a kid. He had told him he had wanted to talk and Justin had bailed on him. Brian used his keys to open the apartment and stopped on his tracks when he found Molly crying on Stacy’s lap.

“What’s going on here?”

“Brian!” Jessica said coming out of the kitchen with a fussy Gus on her arms.

“What is it?” Brian asked knowing something was terribly wrong.

“It’s Justin,” Molly shrieked. “He got shot.”

Brian started at her like she was a lunatic. He tried to move or say something but he couldn’t. He felt a chill run all over his body before he started to feel his heart picking up the pace. This had been the main reason that he had pushed Justin away.

After he had lost Lindsey he didn’t want to ever feel like that again. It all had been in vain since he still felt his heart crushed at the news that he just had received. Brian looked at Jessica who was trying to calm Gus when Daphne came out of the kitchen and hung up the phone.

“What happen?” Brian asked.

“He’s alive but they don’t think he is going to make it, Brian,” Daphne told him.

“I’m driving,” Stacy said getting up.

“I’ll stay with the kids,” Jessica told them. “You guys go.”

Brian nodded at her before he followed Stacy. He looked at Stacy who was ready to take on the world and Daphne who looked calm but her eyes told you another story. Then he looked at Molly who kept sobbing. Brian realized all the time he had wasted. All the time he had been away from Justin instead of loving the blonde. He just wasn’t just talking about when they started fighting; he meant since they had first met.


	10. A Clear Picture Of Things

Michael walked with Brian after Jennifer into the hospital room. He looked at Rick who was sitting on a chair. He was still covered in blood. He looked at Brian who was just staring like he was about to crumble into the floor.

“I should probably go,” Rick said getting up.

“Oh my god,” Jennifer sobbed on top of Justin. “Baby, my goodness.”

Brian stared at her for a moment and then at Justin. He frowned and turned around to leave. He couldn’t watch them. He couldn’t see Justin laying there looking so fucking pale. He needed some air.

“Brian, where are you going?” Michael asked.

“I need to get out of here, Mikey.”

“But…”

“I just need to go,” Brian told him. “Can I have your car keys?”

“Brian, can you drive in this condition?” Michael asked.

Brian glared at him. Michael pulled out the keys and gave them to Brian.

“The car is in the parking lot,” Michael said.

“Please, watch Gus for me,” Brian told him.

Michael nodded.

“Be careful,” Michael called after him before he saw Brian disappear.

Michael stayed in the hospital until pretty much everyone was gone. Ted gave him and Ben a ride home. Michael was worried for his friend. Brian looked like a scared kid. It reminded him of the times that Jack would beat him up.

“Are you okay?” Ben asked.

Michael nodded.

“Where do you think he went?” Ben asked just about to sit down when there was a knock on the door.

Michael smirked and Ben went to open it.

“Where is Gus?” Brian asked as he came inside the apartment.

“My god. Brian, where were you?” Michael asked concerned.

Michael looked at Brian’s appearance. He knew that his best friend had been crying. He looked at the bottle of alcohol that Brian had and the way Brian was standing.

“You are drunk!” Michael yelled.

“Give a s’ar ‘o Mikey,” Brian slurred. “Where is my son?”

“He’s with Jessica and Daphne. They offered to take care of him when you didn’t come back,” Michael told him.

“I’ll go prepare him some tea,” Ben said.

Michael nodded and started to push Brian towards the spare bedroom. Once he managed to get Brian in bed he took the bottle away. He looked at his friend and his heart broke for him. Brian had gone through so much shit pretty much all of his life.

“Mikey, he’s prewy,” Brian slurred.

“Yeah he is really pretty,” Michael assured him imagining Brian was talking about Justin.

“I like him.”

“Good thing he likes you too,” Michael told him as he got Brian out of his boots.

Brian grinned and nodded.

“He has sweep lips.”

Michael looked at his friend with a smiled as he pushed him back and got the covers on him.

“Sleep, Brian.”

“I wan ‘o see him,” Brian protested.

“Tomorrow, I promise,” Michael said. “Now go to sleep.”

Brian nodded and closed his eyes. Michael stayed there until he was sure that Brian had fallen asleep. He came out and went directly into Ben’s arms.

“Shh, its okay,” Ben assured him.

Michael buried his face on Ben’s chest and cried for his two friends.

***

Brian looked at Michael and frowned.

“What are we doing here?” Brian asked.

“Mom and Jen have everyone inside. They are just talking about everything that happened and making a schedule,” Michael informed him.

“A schedule for what?” Brian asked.

“To stay with Justin so he won’t have to be alone,” Ben said.

Brian nodded.

“Then we are going to see him,” Brian said.

Michael nodded. They got out of the car and went inside the house. Brian quickly took his sleeping son from Stacy and walked with him to the living room. He sat on the sofa and looked at his son for a long time before he started crying. He was trying to keep his sobs under control so that the others wouldn’t hear him. He kept rubbing circles on his son’s back as he stared at the spot where he and Justin had sat the night of his birthday. Brian closed his eyes and remembered that day.

_“Justin,” Brian whispered._

_“What?” Justin asked opening his eyes._

_“What does it feel like to kiss a guy?” Brian asked._

_Justin shrugged. “I don’t know. Fucking amazing,” the blond replied._

_Brian nodded and leaned forward to kiss Justin. At first, Justin was going to pull away but he knew he would regret it forever. So he just leaned forward too and let Brian’s lips touch his. When he felt Brian’s tongue inside of him he just pulled away._

Brian cleaned his tears and was suddenly assaulted with a bunch of other memories.

_“Hi, I’m Justin Taylor.”_

_“I’m Brian,” Brian told him smiling._

_“Are you new here?” Justin asked._

_Brian nodded._

_“Me too,” Justin chirped smiling brightly._

_Brian stared at Justin’s beautiful smile._

Brian smiled thinking about the first time they met.

_“I’m going with him, Mikey.”_

_“But you told me we were going to watch Spider Man.”_

_Michael whined._

_“I need to study,” Brian said._

_“Could you two please stop fighting? You guys are giving me a migraine,” Justin complained. “We can study later, Brian. I don’t want to cause problems.”_

_“What are you going to do, Brian?” Michael asked._

_“I’m staying with him,” Brian said._

_Michael shook his head and left. Brian looked at Justin’s contented eyes and he smiled._

Brian bit his lower lip and rubbed his face.

_“Oh my god. He is so cute!” Justin shouted._

_“Who is?” Brian asked._

_“Chris Hobbs,” Justin told him. “We are going to the movies today.”_

_“I thought we were going out?” Brian asked._

_“You don’t mind, do you?” Justin asked._

_“No,” Brian told him._

_Brian was upset that Justin didn’t want to spend time with him instead._

Brian smirked realizing he had really been jealous at Chris.

_“Why are you smiling?” Brian asked sitting down ready to go to bed._

“I just had sex,” Justin yelled ecstatic.

Brian stood up and glared at him.

“I’m sorry. I’m just so excited. I’m not a virgin anymore. I know you don’t like to talk about gay sex.”

“I’m leaving.”

“Where are you going?” Justin asked taken aback. “It’s late.”

“I’m going to go see Lindsay.”

Brian opened the door of the dorms and looked one last time at Justin before he left.

Brian put his hand on his mouth and frowned. He had been pissed at Justin and he went to Lindsay that one time. That's how things had started with Lindsey. Every time he got mad at Justin he would run to her.

Brian closed his eyes and shook his head. He had loved Lindsay but now he was starting to realize that he had been in love with Justin for a long time.

“Hey kiddo,” Debbie said sitting down next to him. “Do you want something to eat?”

“No,” Brian said.

“You need to eat something,” Debbie told him.

“Later.”

Debbie nodded.

“He’s going to be okay.”

“You don’t know that,” Brian hissed.

Debbie smiled sadly.

“He’s a strong kid,” Debbie told him.

Brian started to cry. Debbie put her arms around him making sure not to wake Gus.

“I can’t lose him. I don’t want to give him up. We just found each other. It’s not fucking fair,” Brian sobbed.

Michael came to the living room and just looked at his friend with sad eyes. He wished he could do something to help him.

“It’s going to be okay. You’ll see. Sunshine is going to be okay,” Debbie repeated over and over trying to make it come true.

Michael walked up to them and kneeled at their feet.

“He’ll probably wake up and say something funny. You know how he is,” Michael told him.

Brian nodded and closed his eyes. All he wanted was for Justin to wake up.


	11. Blue Eyes

Brian was sitting down listening to Michael talk about things in the shop. He was happy that his friend was there giving him support. Ben had gone down to the cafeteria to get Brian something to eat. They both looked up when the door opened expecting Ben but Ethan walked in.

“Hey.”

“Ethan? Hey, how are you doing?” Michael asked.

“I’m okay,” Ethan told him. “I heard what happen. I came to see him.”

Brian didn’t say or do anything.

“How is he?” Ethan asked.

“He’s getting better,” Michael said. “He’s breathing on his own but he lost a lot of blood and he hasn’t opened his eyes yet.”

Ethan nodded and walked closer to Justin. He looked at the blonde and caressed his face.

“What the fuck do you think you are doing?” Brian roared.

“What?” Ethan asked squaring his shoulders.

“Brian, relax,” Michael said.

“Get your hands off of him,” Brian warned him.

“Brian, come on. Let’s go outside for a minute,” Michael said.

“No,” Brian protested.

“Don’t make me bring Ben here and carry you out,” Michael warned him.

Brian looked at his friend and glared at him. He followed Michael out of the room while sending Ethan a murderous look.

“What the fuck do you want?” Brian asked.

“I want you to relax,” Michael told him. “Forget Ethan.”

Brian shook his head.

“What he fuck is he doing here?” Brian asked.

“It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t get to stay,” Michael told him. “So tell me how you are doing?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Brian, you have to tell me.”

Brian gave his back to Michael. Michael walked over to his friend and hugged him. Brian started crying in Michael’s shoulder.

“I’m scared.”

“I know.”

“What if he doesn’t make it?”

“He will, Brian. He’s going to be okay,” Michael told him.

They stayed like that for a long time until Ben came. Brian smiled and rubbed his face.

“Can we go back inside? Ethan is probably having his way with Justin,” Brian asked.

Michael laughed and nodded.

“What is he talking about?” Ben asked as they went back into Justin’s room.

“Time’s up,” Brian declared as he looked at Ethan. “It’s time for you to go.”

Ethan looked up and shook his head.

“Excuse me.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” Ethan said. “I know that the two of you weren’t together. It was all a farce to make me jealous.”

Ben and Michael looked at each other.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Brian asked.

“I have been watching him. You guys barely talk,” Ethan spit out.

“Ethan, I think it’s better if you leave. This is not the time,” Michael told him.

“I’m not leaving,” Ethan said.

Brian narrowed his eyes at him and was about to grab Ethan by the neck and pull him out when the machine started beeping off. Brian took a step back and watched in shock as Justin’s pulse went dead. There were people running inside the room and pushed everyone out. Brian was numb.

***  
Jessica sat down and looked at Brian who had Gus sitting on his thigh while they both inspected Angel. She smiled at him and watched.

“He’s getting big,” Brian said.

“Yeah,” Jessica agreed.

“He looks just like him,” Brian whispered sadly.

Jessica took a deep breath and nodded.

“I’m scared.”

“I know. Me too,” She told him.

Brian looked at her with teary eyes.

“They fucking had to revive him,” Brian told her. “I fucking hate this.”

“Fuc in,” Gus repeated.

Jessica raised a brow.

“Under the circumstance everyone is allowed to curse,” Brian told her.

Jessica gave him a little smile.

“He’s stable now, Brian. The doctor said it was the drugs they were giving him. I know he is going to be just fine,” she told him.

“Daddy!” Gus yelled and smiled at his father.

Gus grabbed Angel’s little hand. He kissed it and then looked up at his father offering him Angel’s hand. Brian took it and kissed it just like his son had done.

“They looked adorable together,” Jessica told him.

Brian nodded. Jessica saw Emmett walking towards them.

“Hey, do you want anything to eat?” Emmett asked Brian. “I can take the kids.”

“No,” Brian told him pulling the two boys closer to him. “I’ll eat later.”

“Do you want anything?” Emmett asked Jessica.

Emmett looked at Jessica who shook her head. He turned around and left towards the cafeteria where everyone else was.

“Why are they all so obsessed with food?”

Jessica laughed. She got up and sat closer to Brian. She put her hand on his face and made Brian look at her.

“He loves you very much. And if…when he wakes up and you guys are together, you better be good to him. I will kick your ass if you don’t treat him like he deserves.”

Brian smirked and nodded.

***  
Brian sighed as he sat down on the hard cold chair. He pulled it closer to Justin and took his baby’s hand in his.

“Hey baby. How are you doing today?” Brian asked.

Brian looked at Justin’s face and smiled. He smiled at how Justin looked like a beautiful angel.

“I miss talking to you,” Brian spoke in a low voice.

Brian wondered if Justin could hear him.

“I was thinking that after you woke up maybe we could take a vacation. It won’t be anything big just you and me having some time together. I’m not letting you go this time Justin. I know what you mean to me,” Brian whispered as he started to message Justin’s hand.

“Rick is doing better. He blames himself for what happen to you. I think he is seeing a shrink. He should have started years ago,” Brian told him with a little smile. “Don’t you think?”

Justin opened his eyes slowly and stared at Brian. He watched as Brian kept talking about someone that was mentally ill and for a second wondered if he was talking about himself.

“Who the fuck are you talking to, Brian?” Justin asked.

Brian’s head snapped up to look at Justin.

“I think you have gone nuts. Fuck, I am in so much pain,” Justin complained. “How long have I been here? Go get the doctor and tell him I want drugs. It hurts. That fucking bastard shot me. Is he dead?”

Brian’s mouth was hanging open as he stared at Justin.

“I’m so fucking thirsty. Could you get me some water?” Justin asked.

Brian kept on staring.

“Brian, when can I leave?” Justin asked and looked at Brian.

Brian was not saying a word.

“Do you think you can get me something to eat? I’m starving,” Justin told him.

Justin arched a brow and waited for Brian to say something.

“So while I was here, did you go deaf?” Justin asked sarcastically.

Brian smiled from ear to ear happy to see Justin’s blue eyes staring at him like he was fucking nuts.

 

 

**End Notes** : I just want to thank CUJO for all her help. Love ya! Soon the sequel THIS CRAZY LOVE. Hope you all enjoyed the story.


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